Ways That Matter Most
by SingleOrganicMachine
Summary: This is my erotic LxLight oneshot, told from Light's POV. It happens during the time Light gave up the Death Note and lost his memories of it.


Ways That Matter Most

A Death Note LxLight Fanfiction

It's been five days since L and I were handcuffed together. After being released from captivity and it was "proven" and declared officially among the task force members that I was in fact not KIRA, I'd agreed to L's terms for joining the investigation. He and I would be together 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with no exceptions, until KIRA was captured. Our fates, including our deaths, would be literally tied together. Although it should have been, lately that hasn't been the most immediate concern on my mind…

Already I've been subjected to each and every one of the mysterious detective's bizarre habits up close and been witness to all his musings and routines. Wherever he went I of course had to follow, and vice versa, even to the bathroom, where one of us would politely stand in the adjacent stall. My father had gone to the house and brought me a suitcase of clothing and essentials, and we all figured out quickly that changing clothes would be a problem. I always sort of thought L never changed his clothes at all, but he did—right into a duplicate set. It was established that Watari would be the third party to unlock the cuffs and stand watch with a loaded gun while we both changed. Then the handcuffs would go right back on and the key would leave with Watari to be hidden in a place unbeknownst to me.

Showering, as it turns out, was another bothersome task. We would be freed from our fetters by Watari for this as well, and had to shower at the same time in the large stall while he stood guard outside the door with his gun. It became our routine to be unshackled, shower, and change every morning right away so that the rest of the day we wouldn't need to bother. Usually we stayed back-to-back in the shower for obvious courteous reasons, but after the first couple days we both got over it and treated it like a locker room. Or at least, on my part. L never seemed to be bothered by any of these trivial grievances. I knew he valued his privacy, but in this instance I guess he saw it as duty; nothing special. In any case, his facial expression never changed and he never said anything unusual. We were given a room to share complete with a single large bed. I endured it, knowing this was the price to pay to remain on the task force and work with L to solve the KIRA case. Still, it was distracting.

I wasn't at all used to it; it was far too soon for that, but I was determined to adapt. I was dragged along with all of L's wanderings through the corridor of the building we were allowed, finding he had particular places he liked best to think in. Whenever he got hungry I had to accompany him on his quests for sweets, and that included his random midnight cravings. It was damn annoying, but oddly enough, the most annoying thing of all was that I had to listen to Misa's complaining nonstop. She insisted we go on "dates" even though I wasn't permitted to leave headquarters anyway. I humored her, not really having a choice about it, and besides which she was pretty and apparently worshipped me. It was refreshing, especially after being locked up alone in a cell for weeks on end. Of course, since L and I were handcuffed with only about three feet of steel chain between us, we were never apart, even on these "dates."

"This is the worst date I've ever been on!" Misa complained one such evening. She was sitting across from me on the fancy leather sofa in the den of her private floor. Even though we were just sitting in her room under camera-surveillance, she'd obviously dressed up for the occasion. She was in a red velvet corset and flounced vinyl skirt with thigh-high fishnet stockings and garter-straps. It was sexy, in a way, as long as she kept her mouth shut. "I can't believe he has to be here too! When am I ever going to get to be alone with you, Light?"

"You know why we have to do this, Misa," I said to her, crossing my legs and leaning back in the sofa. "Don't you want your name cleared once and for all?"

"Yes, but I want to be with you more!"

I sighed and leaned my cheek on my fist. "The faster KIRA is caught, the faster we'll all be free." I glanced over at L sitting beside me on the couch, his knees bent up and his naked toes curling over the edge of the cushion. He was leaning over and dropping sugar-cube after sugar-cube into his tea until it was more sugar than beverage and then he commenced to stir it up with his tiny spoon. He only ever used a maximum of three fingers on each hand, and he always sat the same way. He'd mentioned once that his deduction skills fell by 40% if he didn't sit that way. I'm not sure I believed that, but I had no evidence to say otherwise.

"Hopefully, now that Light-kun and I are on the case virtually every waking moment, that day won't be far off," L mentioned, plucking up his teacup and sipping it. He squinted one eye and then dropped another sugar-cube in it before he sipped it again and seemed satisfied.

Misa crossed her arms over her chest and scowled. "Light, your friend is weird," she whined. "I think he had you handcuffed to him because he's a pervert."

I blinked at her and then glanced back at L, waiting to see how he'd react. He finished sipping and then set his cup back on the saucer. "I assure you, Misa-san, catching KIRA is my top priority. All other concerns are beyond secondary."

"That's what you say, but I can tell," she said haughtily. "I suppose I can't blame you, in a way. After all, who could resist Light?" She smiled adoringly back over at me, batting her dark eyelashes. I sighed again and L just fiddled with the wrapper of an ice-cream bar. "Well, even though he's here listening, I've been wanting to talk to you about going steady, Light," she said, leaning forward.

"Aren't you moving a little fast, Misa?" I asked, sitting back straight. "We haven't even gone on a single real date before. We met as a coincidence."

"But I love you, Light," she insisted, pouting her bright red lips.

"I think I can see where Misa-san is coming from, Light-kun," L said suddenly, taking a huge bite from his ice-cream. "I haven't known you that long either, but I don't hesitate to say I admire you." He took another chomp. "There's something distinctly regal about you," he continued with his mouth full, looking over at me.

"Thanks, Ryuzaki," I remarked. Misa stuck out her tongue and made a sick face. "I don't think anyone's ever described me as regal before." He smiled and took two more large chomps. Anyone else's mouth would freeze.

"I think you're beautiful, Light!" Misa announced, suddenly enthusiastic again. "No one can be as handsome as Light! You're better than perfect!"

"Light-kun is a rather handsome person," L mentioned, down to licking the wooden stick of his ice-cream bar already.

"Ew! You aren't allowed to say that, Ryuzaki-san!"

He lifted his head to look over at her, nibbling at his thumbnail as he stirred his tea with the stick. "I was just being honest," he said.

"But it's weird!"

"I'm not concerned over that. I act in the way that's most natural to me so that I can work to solve my cases most efficiently. If I were overly concerned with other people's opinions of me, then I wouldn't be concentrating on what is most important."

"Ryuzaki's right," I said, switching my legs and adjusting my cuffed hand. The chain could get rather heavy after a day. "Petty squabbles won't get us anywhere. First priority is finding KIRA and bringing him to justice. These dates are pretty much pointless as it is."

Misa gasped and then her face puckered up like I'd shoved an onion in it. "B-But, Light…I'll never see you!"

"Look, Misa, I'm sure we'll be allowed to relax now and then. If we don't, our health will suffer and we won't be of any use. I'll come up here to visit you when we get a break from the case."

"When will that be?" she demanded.

"There's no way to be sure of that. Be happy you're allowed to go back to normal life instead of being held under suspicion in jail by the police."

"That's so mean, Light! And after I called you beautiful!" I frowned in irritation.

"Don't worry, Misa-san," L said suddenly. "Light-kun is a true gentleman. He won't ignore the genuine affections of such a lovely lady."

Both Misa and I blinked over at him. I was surprised but Misa giggled. "Oh, Ryuzaki-san, sometimes you just say the most perfect things and totally redeem yourself!"

He smirked. "I like what you're wearing today, Misa-Misa," he commented.

She went red in the face and shoved both hands over her skirt. "Light, he's a total pervert!"

I couldn't help myself from chuckling under my breath. "Listen, Misa, it's getting late. I think we should get back to work instead of wasting time bickering."

"But…Light!" I stood and she hurried over to throw her arms around my arm.

"You haven't eaten any of the cookies I made especially for you!"

"Try them, Light-kun," L said. "They're very good." We turned to see him chewing on one from the plate she'd set on the coffee table.

Misa stiffened and clenched her fists. "Oh, you're just awful! Those were made especially for Light!"

"You never said I couldn't have one," he replied, finishing what he was chewing in his mouth before he licked his lips and fingers and stood up from the sofa, slouching as always before he stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"I don't really care for sweets…" I began to say, looking back down at Misa.

She was pouting, her bright aqua eyes big and round. "You don't want the cookies I made just for you? I slaved over a hot stove with armed guards watching me just to make you happy…" she said pitifully.

I took a deep breath. "Okay, okay," I said, leaning over and plucking up one of the cookies she'd made. I ate it just to placate her so we could leave without further arguments. If she wasn't so good-hearted I wouldn't even put up with her nonsense. It would be less distracting to be kind to her.

"So?" she asked hopefully, clasping her hands together and pressing against me.

"It's good," I told her, finishing it. "Thanks, Misa."

"Yay!" She hugged me warmly and I took it.

"We should be going now, Light-kun," L said, standing a little off to my side and waiting while she squeezed me.

"Right."

"Bye-bye, Light!" Misa exclaimed. "Come see me again really really soon! I'll miss you!"

"Sure thing, Misa. See you later." I turned from her embrace and followed L out the door and down the empty corridor, the chain of our cuffs rattling as we walked. When we were alone and her door was shut I exhaled loudly.

"Her affection is entirely one-sided then, Light-kun?" he questioned beside me.

"I haven't known her that long, Ryuzaki. Sure I was known as a lady-killer in high-school but nothing ever got serious. I have more important things to concentrate on now."

"I see…"

"Why, are you hoping to take advantage of an opportunity yourself?" I asked jokingly. "I remember when you two met that you said you were a fan."

"She's definitely my type of girl," he said, "at least in appearance. Mind is another matter."

I chuckled once. "I know what you mean."

It was quiet for a couple seconds, aside from the jingling of our chain and the shuffling of his baggy jeans. "This lack of new leads is perturbing," he mentioned, changing the subject.

"Well, we did just start, Ryuzaki," I said, strolling next to him as he sauntered on, shuffling with his shoulders hunched. "Think positively. Now that you're refocusing and I'm on the case, I'm confident things will move forward soon."

"Exactly what I was thinking," he said. "I just don't like being idle."

"I could tell that," I remarked.

He looked at me. "With the two of us combined, risking our lives as a single machine dedicated to KIRA's capture…" He touched his index finger to his lips. "We are a most formidable force." I nodded in concurrence. "You're a very optimistic person," he mentioned.

"So I've heard. Since we're handcuffed together, we have no choice but to be optimistic. We share the same fate now. If you die I die, Ryuzaki."

"And vice-versa, Light-kun. We both must remain cautiously confident and sharp in order to prevent that outcome."

"Right." We turned to the elevator and he pushed the button for down. We rode it together until we arrived at the central research floor where the task force always met. At this time, it was Matsuda and my father who were on duty, keeping an eye on all the video surveillance monitors.

"Hey, Light," Matsuda called, "how was your hot date with Misa-Misa?"

"That's none of your business," my father said to him. "Get back to work."

Matsuda sighed and slumped back over the control panel, staring blankly at the flickering monitors. "Boring…"

"Are you doing well, Light?" my father asked.

"I'm fine, Dad. You should be more worried about yourself. You did have a heart attack not so long ago, so make sure to take it easy. I don't want anything to happen to you again." L glanced at me and my Dad nodded before he went back to work. "So, where should we start today, Ryuzaki?" I asked him, turning back.

"First we ask Watari if there have been any developments on television," he said, leading the way across the room, "and then we'll join Matsuda-san and Yagami-san and cross-reference what we've determined up until now…and discuss how to move forward."

"Sounds good to me."

"Good evening, Ryuzaki," Watari said pleasantly as we approached. He was setting a quaint table-for-two and pulled out both chairs for us. "Good evening, Yagami-kun."

"You too, Watari. Thanks." L sat on the left side in his usual way and I sat on the right, so that our chain could dangle comfortably under the table.

"There haven't been any suspicious or alarming developments on any of the international or local news channels or hot programs," Watari told L.

"As I thought," he responded, chewing his nail. Watari set a silver dish between us and uncovered it, revealing a strawberry cheesecake. L sighed. "Things would be much simpler if you were KIRA, Light-kun," he said to me. "I had it all worked out, with the exception of how it is that you kill... I was ready to present my evidence should you be arrested and put on trial."

I frowned over at him as Watari shook up a can of whipped cream and then covered the top of the cake completely with the fluffy white substance. "Haven't we been through this?" I asked in exasperation. "It was you yourself who determined that if I was KIRA then I would have killed my father to save myself. Since I didn't, not to mention your other conclusions, then I must not be KIRA. The entire taskforce agreed."

"You must not?" He eyed me with those wide black irises, so dark his pupils blended in.

"You know what I meant. I know I'm not KIRA. Everyone else seems to have accepted it but you, Ryuzaki."

He chewed his thumbnail and watched Watari sprinkle chocolate shavings over the whipped cream. "There are too many…inconsistencies. They are small, yes, and near impossible to investigate within realistic boundaries…but they are there. I still maintain the idea that you could be KIRA, Light-kun. The original one, that is."

"You mean to say I'm sufficiently mentally capable of being KIRA, and that a great deal of circumstantial evidence can be related to me. Also, my ideals are startlingly similar to KIRA's. Is that it?"

"Yes, precisely." Watari placed a handful of ripe red strawberries around the circumference of the cake.

"If that's the case, Ryuzaki," I began, crossing my arms and legs, "then you could be KIRA."

"Hmm…that's interesting of you to say," he said, leaning forward eagerly as Watari cut a slice of the finished cake and gave him the piece on a plate. L plucked up his fork in two fingers and began to eat it. Watari gave me one as well and I politely ate a forkful as L pondered a bit. "I suppose you're right, Light-kun," he went on. "Considering all the implications, I am just as capable of being KIRA as you are. I am certain I could easily juggle my identity as L and my identity as KIRA, pitting the personas against each other convincingly. I also have access to police information and possess a strong sense of justice." He stuffed more cake into his mouth. "However, there is one key problem with that theory."

"And what's that?" I asked.

He raised his eyes to fix on mine. "I'm not evil."

I gazed back at him a moment before I smiled and shrugged. "Yeah, I suppose. But I'm not evil either. I plan to be a detective like my Dad once I graduate from college. My sense of justice lies with the law."

"I see the similarities between you and Yagami-san very well," he said, eating halfway through his cake. "You look up to him."

"Of course."

"He must be very proud of you."

I glanced over at my father as he spoke with Matsuda, pointing out something on the monitors. "Besides catching KIRA, my father's approval is most important to me. I don't intend to ever let him down."

"Hmmm…" He licked his fork and then poked it into the strawberry, which was all he had left.

"You don't have any family, Ryuzaki? Other than Watari, I mean?"

He popped the fruit in his mouth. "No, I don't, but you won't find out my identity from that information."

I shook my head. "That wasn't what I was trying to do." I finished my cake to be polite even though it was far too sweet for me. I left most of the whipped cream and the strawberry unfinished. "I was thinking maybe there's somebody you're trying to make proud. It can be very good motivation, in addition to personal justice."

"That it can." He left it at that. I shrugged to myself and poked my fork into my strawberry, swabbing it in the cream and offering it to him across the table. "Really?" he asked.

"Sure, go ahead."

He poked his own fork into it and took it from mine before he ate it. "Thank you."

"So I can conjecture that I won't get much personal information out of you as long as you suspect me of being KIRA." He just looked at me as he licked his lips. "That's a little unfair, you know. After all, you know everything about me. You've watched me on hidden cameras."

"You want to know me personally, Light-kun?"

"Well I already know everything else about you, Ryuzaki. We're still friends, aren't we, even considering all this?"

"Of course, Light-kun. You're my best friend."

"I was your first friend and now I'm your best friend?"

"Correct." Watari served us the usual English and not Japanese tea, and L commenced to overflowing it with sugar-cubes. "As you can imagine, I have limited, if any, contact with people my own age. Watari, like you said, is the sole person I could call my family, and I have never before met anyone my own age…or any age for that matter, actually, who even remotely matched my intellect as well as you do. You come to conclusions even quicker than I do sometimes, and you always understand what I'm thinking even if I never say it out loud. You know what I infer when no one else has any idea."

"The same goes for you." I sipped my tea while he added more sugar to his. "So I would be right in saying that as Ryuga/Ryuzaki, Light-kun is your best friend, but as the great detective L, Yagami Light/KIRA is your mortal enemy."

"Yes, you would be right. I reiterate that I am not sure you are KIRA, Light-kun, not by any stretch, especially after your confinement. The probability of Yagami Light being KIRA is less than 1% currently."

"You're good at placing things in perspective. No wonder the task force follows you so readily. If you weren't so good at explaining things, there wouldn't be many people who understood you well enough to follow you."

"You think so?"

"Judging by my experiences with people up until now, yes. My father believes in you completely. He trusts you, even if some of the other members don't." I shrugged. "Of course, Matsuda trusts everyone."

L frowned in irritation briefly. "That is definitely true…" I laughed.

"Ryuzaki!" my father suddenly called. "The killing of criminals has resumed again!"

L spun abruptly around in his chair and I was jerked forward by our chain into the table. "Put it up on all the monitors," he instructed. My father did so and the news channel ran across the screens, announcing the sudden heart attack deaths of 23 Japanese criminals, many not even convicted of severe crimes. "Again," L said. "It happened this way while you were confined, Light-kun, and now it's happening again a week later."

"You're right. It seems to be just about the same amount of criminals too, and not the usual brutal offenders that KIRA has targeted." He stood and I followed quickly as he shuffled over to the monitors and sat himself down again in one of the rolling office chairs. I stood behind him.

"Check the other news channels just to make sure, Matsuda-san."

"I'm on it!" he replied.

"Yagami-san, please confirm these deaths with the police." My father nodded. "The same amount of criminals die each week, it seems. Someone is doing this purposefully…or else it's a simple routine."

"But why once a week? If it were routine, wouldn't it be more often?"

"They could be a very busy individual, or perhaps they fear being caught."

"It feels purposeful, though… Why the exact same day every week? Maybe if it were a couple days off…"

"I agree. Judging by the reports, the deaths seem to have happened at the same time of day as well. This new KIRA is killing an average of 20 random criminals on the same night each week, and very late at night for that matter."

"We can definitely use that information."

The rest of the day went by with little developments. L and I were both relatively silent in our deductions, but I think we were both heading the same direction. Evening came and went as the research continued and I hardly realized how late it was by the time the other task force members had drifted off to sleep. Aizawa had been the first to go since he had to leave the building and commute. My dad was last to leave the research floor, and it was his hand on my shoulder that allowed me to realize I was exhausted.

L and I retired to our floor and I fell asleep almost immediately, only to wake up who knows how many hours later to the lately-familiar sounds of manic typing and careful sipping. On and off, back and forth, typing fast and then sipping slowly to savor. The combination was easily recognizable, even without my current predicament. I rolled over and stretched, feeling the weight of the steel shackle on my left wrist. Definitely not a dream. If I was dreaming, I wouldn't still be handcuffed. If I was dreaming, that slurping would certainly be quieter.

I cautiously parted one eyelid, glancing over to find L sitting up next to me on his side of the bed, typing something on his laptop with three fingers faster than most people could with both hands. In his other hand he held a thin can of what looked like cold strawberry tea, which he sipped almost periodically, holding it up with only two fingers. It was aggravating that I was this used to his behavior already.

"Did I wake you, Light-kun?" he said in usual monotone voice, never taking his eyes off the screen or pausing his typing. I knew already that his ability to multitask was astounding. "Sorry."

"No," I said, sitting up and rubbing my fingers through my auburn hair until it laid straight. "I was already waking up…I think from a dream."

"That's good. I'd hate for your deduction skills to waver because of me."

"Yours never seem to waver," I remarked, "even though I've never seen you sleep."

"I usually don't."

"Then why share a bed with me? Why not have a separate one for yourself?"

"This bed is for your benefit, and thus mine."

"Oh, yeah?" I leaned my arms on my bent knees.

"Yes." He took another sip. "If I insisted on separate beds, what would come of it if you rolled over too far or pulled the chain taut? Not only would it be awkward, but your sleep patterns would warp and your cognitive abilities would suffer. Such an outcome would only serve to hinder the investigation. You're a vital part of the team, Light-kun. Making sure you're comfortable benefits me just as much as it does you."

"I see. So it does." He never looked at me as he continued to type, pecking away rapidly as he sat there like he always did—slouched with both knees bent up—in his baggy white shirt and boxer shorts. The chain of our handcuffs rattled softly as he did. I myself was still in my own button-down shirt from earlier and my underwear for sleeping. We'd mutually decided that sleeping in our shirts would be easier than changing at gunpoint every single night just as we had to every single morning.

"What's that you're working on?"

"Probing for information at this hour?" He glanced at me at last. "You should try and go back to sleep. As I said, you're no good to me if your cognitive abilities are insufficient."

"Thanks, Ryuzaki," I remarked.

He smirked a little. "Don't take it personally, Light-kun. You're my best friend, yes, but you're my partner first. Finding and catching KIRA always comes first."

"Of course I know that," I said, leaning back against the headboard. "I want to catch KIRA probably more than you do. After all, my family has been affected because of him. My dad had a heart attack from all the stress and it worried my mom and sister like crazy. Unlike you, I've got a personal vendetta against him."

"That's true," he replied simply. His short answers were as cryptic as they were explanatory. I sighed. "Something troubling you, Light-kun?"

"Not really, other than the fact that we don't seem to be getting anywhere in the investigation and it's already been a week."

"I'm discouraged as well, but we must press on. Without perseverance, of course we'll fail."

"I know that. I'm not saying give up; I'm just saying we don't seem to be advancing much, even with both of us on the case. There's only so much we can do within the bounds of the law."

"Would you breach the bounds of the law if you found it necessary, Light-kun?"

I looked over at him and he was glancing at me again out of the corners of his black eyes. The bags under them were consistently prominent, as always. "Now who's probing for information, Ryuzaki?" I asked with a smile.

He smiled back and then returned to looking at his computer screen. "I'm cross-referencing all the information I've gathered up until now," he told me, referring to the work I'd asked about. I sat up straighter. "Relax. I left out any and all of my conjectures regarding you ever since we got locked together like this."

I sighed again. "You really don't trust me, do you?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Partially."

"My answer is the same."

"We really are a pair, aren't we?"

"How so, Light-kun?" He tipped back the pink can in his left hand, sucking down every last drop of the beverage. After that he licked the metal rim clean and then set it down delicately on the bedside table. I crossed my legs Indian-style beneath the blanket as he plucked up the plastic six-pack liner of the drinks and yanked another can free. He popped it open one-handed while he grabbed a bag of mini multi-colored marshmallows in the other.

"Our intellect is nearly evenly matched, and we come to the same conclusions at virtually the same time. Even so, we're still very different."

He ripped open the plastic baggie and snatched a handful of the contents. "Would you say that hinders or aids in our ability to work together?" He stacked the tiny rainbow marshmallows on the mouse-pad of his laptop, stopping at four and then grabbing the tower and eating them all at once.

"I'd say it definitely helps. After all, if we didn't have at least some difference of opinion, how would we ever move forward? If we thought in exactly the same way, we'd never have any fresh ideas. I think it helps when both of us argue and cross-examine."

"I see your logic and I agree." He stuffed another little stack into his mouth and chewed. "Speaking of which, can you tell me what you think of this, Light-kun?"

"What is it?" I scooted over to sit close beside him and leaned around his shoulder to peer at the computer screen. It took my eyes a moment to adjust to the brightness. I scanned the page he'd been typing. "You're still certain that Misa is the second KIRA, huh?"

"You're still certain she's not?"

"I never said that. What I said was, she hasn't ever said a single thing to indicate that she is, which I find to be relatively sufficient proof, given her naivety. No matter what either of us have said in an attempt to implicate or interrogate her, she maintains innocence smoothly and honestly. Nothing she's ever said has been even vaguely suspicious. I really don't think she knows anything about the second KIRA if neither of us can get anything out of her."

"I took that into account as well," he said, bringing up another page.

I scanned that one next. "So what you're thinking is…this must indicate another of KIRA's supernatural powers? KIRA can force his subordinates to lose their memory? That's a little farfetched…don't you think, Ryuzaki?"

"Do you think so, Light-kun?" He turned his head to look at me. I returned the gesture so now we were face-to-face. The light given off by the screen was the only reason either of us could see each other.

"Well, judging by what we've witnessed so far of KIRA's powers, it's definitely not impossible, but I think maybe you're deducing this because you want Misa to be the second KIRA."

He blinked once, slowly. "Maybe you're right," he said. "It would be more convenient if she were, at the very least." He glanced away and then back, lowering his eyelids. "Perhaps I wanted her to be the second KIRA for the same reasons I wanted you to be KIRA."

"Because you don't like to think that you're wrong," I concluded.

"That, yes, and…in all honesty, my feelings towards those two conclusions were so strong… I've never been wrong when I've felt that way before. Maybe it was a shock to my system."

"Or your ego," I offered.

He blinked again, slowly. He hardly ever blinked. "Possibly."

"This isn't the time for egos, Ryuzaki," I said quietly. "Like you've said before, we're all putting our lives on the line to catch KIRA. We can't get distracted by petty things like that."

"Hmm…" He frowned a little and then closed his eyes. "I know that, Light-kun, but I'm only human."

I smiled again. "We're all human here…even KIRA. I think maybe over the course of this case we've forgotten that." He opened his eyes and focused them on mine. "No matter what, we have to keep in mind that KIRA can be brought down like any other criminal. He has his weaknesses; we just have to find them. We can't start thinking of him as a god—that's exactly what he wants."

He lifted his free hand to his mouth and bit his thumbnail lightly. "You're right, Light-kun, and it's what I've been thinking all along. No matter how many godly qualities he may appear to possess, we must always keep in mind that he's a mortal like the rest of us. He might be closer to a devil, but a criminal is a criminal, and he must never be allowed to escape man's judgment here on earth."

I nodded. "Right. That's the spirit, Ryuzaki. I'm even feeling better."

"Thank you, Light-kun."

"No problem. We both need to be at our best."

He typed a little more before he put the laptop on standby and closed it. Once it clicked shut we were thrown in total darkness. "Sorry about that, Light-kun," he said.

"Not like it matters," I responded. "We're on camera 24/7. You've already said you rigged infrared lenses too, and bugs."

"Cameras, yes," he was saying, "but not bugs or infrared lenses in this room."

My eyes widened. "Why not?"

"Why do you think I had us handcuffed together, Light-kun? It was so you'd always be in my sight, no matter when or where. I don't need to observe you on camera every waking moment as I did in your house. Now, I'm right here in front of you, watching every move you make. Why would I need to bother with infrared?" He leaned forward and I felt the edges of his full bangs brush my forehead. "In fact, I hear every breath you take. Why would I need bugs?"

I felt a quickening in my chest. "…It still seems a little lax for your attentiveness."

"Like I said, we're never apart, not even for a second. We're always within arm's reach, always in sight, always in earshot. You cannot possibly make a single move as KIRA without me knowing about it, of that I am certain. Thus far, I have determined that KIRA cannot simply kill with a thought or a word. He must act in some way in order to carry out his murders. Whatever actions you take, I'll see. And aside from all that…if you are KIRA, I can be almost 75% sure that you'd never risk making a move against me while we're handcuffed. If I were to die while attached to you, the suspicion that you are responsible would be undeniable, even to your father. I'm 89.6% certain of all these things collectively, and that is why there are only regular cameras."

"You're pretty sure of yourself, aren't you, L?" I whispered.

"Why suddenly call me that?"

"It's always seemed more fitting to me than Ryuzaki, and way more than that ridiculous alias Ryuga Hideki. After all, you aren't full Japanese, are you? With those big eyes, no way, but they're so dark you must be at least part-Asian."

"You won't be able to find out my real name with that information."

"You still think I'm KIRA," I said. "You never stopped thinking it, not for a second."

"The probability that you are KIRA has decreased significantly due to your recent captivity; I'd say to about…0.8%. Maybe 0.6%... But I can't ignore my intuition, and I do still suspect you."

"You never hesitate to accuse people, even when you aren't sure. You always get your thoughts out in the open. It's one of the things I admire about you, even as it annoys me."

"Is that so?" I heard him slurp his drink dry and set down the can before he shifted on the bed, making the mattress creak. I listened to him pop his toes before he shuffled around until the plastic marshmallow bag crinkled in the dark and then I could hear him chewing again, loudly.

"Are you sure you weren't trying to wake me up?"

"I wasn't trying to, but maybe I was experimenting," he explained with his mouth full.

"Experimenting?"

"To see how heavy a sleeper you are. That way, I'll know to what lengths I can venture in the future twilight hours without disturbing you."

"I still don't quite comprehend how you can stay so sharp without ever sleeping a night through."

"Years of conditioning, among other things." The bag crinkled again and I think he set it down on the table. "I should let you get back to sleep now, Light-kun. It's back to the grindstone bright and early tomorrow."

"Maybe there isn't even a point," I said suddenly, trying a new angle. "No matter what new evidence we uncover, you'll still suspect me of being KIRA."

"Possibly," he answered in the dark. My eyes had adjusted by now and I could vaguely see the paleness of his face before me. I smirked to myself, wondering how well he could see me. He never slept, so he probably had good night-vision. I lunged out and took hold of his shoulders, gauging the distance by estimating. I kept his shirt tight in my fingers and shoved him down on his back on the mattress, leaning over him.

"Light-kun?" he questioned, his tone of voice never changing, not even now.

"How much will the probability that I'm KIRA change after this?" I lowered myself to his chest, having to stretch slightly awkwardly around his bent knees. I could see well enough to press my mouth over his, finding my way more surely with each passing instant. I withdrew shortly, waiting to see what he'd do, how he'd react. I braced myself to be kicked from the bed.

"It increases by 2%," he said to me.

"What?"

"The probability that you're KIRA increases by 2% after this…no, more like 1.5%"

I blinked in the dark. "Why?"

"Because KIRA prefers offense over defense," he answered. "He made that obvious with his slaughter of the FBI agents that came to Japan. Any ordinary criminal would have gone into hiding after being discovered by the FBI, but instead of disappearing off the face of the earth he almost immediately acted in retaliation and killed them all. Every single time I posed a challenge, he answered right back with another. He always chooses offense over defense, which is exactly what you're doing now."

"Are all your feelings tied to logic?"

"Aren't yours?"

"I guess they are." I pressed my lips to his again, surer this time, applying technique instead of the element of surprise. I moved my right hand down to the hem of his t-shirt and slid beneath it, letting every fingertip graze over his bare skin. The muscles of his abdomen tensed with my wandering touch. I was still mildly shocked that he wasn't pushing me away or at least protesting, but each second he was complacent was another second to go further. I slipped my tongue past his lips and he opened his mouth to let me. That nearly tripped me up but when I felt his tongue roll forward to meet mine I didn't second-guess myself any longer. My hand in his shirt came to clutch over his decently muscled chest. I don't know how he could stay in such good shape when he never ate anything other than candy and pastries.

His tongue was snaking against mine fervently, seeking every crevice of my mouth and documenting them. God, I'd never imagined this sort of thing from him. It always seemed rather out of character for him to be intimate. I was catching my breath only in brief inhalations every few moments, and I finally drew back when it became clear we weren't stopping.

"You're really good with your tongue," I mentioned, feeling the saliva coating my lips.

"Yes, but you aren't very sweet, Light-kun."

"I can't do much about that."

"How long have you been planning this?"

"It wasn't planned at all," I told him, "but I know you won't believe me."

"You're right."

"So, what now?"

"Why ask me? You're the one who threw me down here."

"You really aren't going to stop me?" I questioned warily, still overly suspicious of his submissiveness.

"Why would I stop you?"

"Do you have to ask that?"

"…Did you think I didn't notice the tension between us?"

"…How long has it been there, according to you?"

"You know, Light-kun, if we keep answering questions with more questions…we're never going to get anywhere tonight."

"What did you have in mind?"

He chuckled once, briefly. "Like I said, you're the one who threw me down. Shouldn't you know?"

"This is just a big joke to you, isn't it?"

"No," he answered. "I wasn't sure who would end up moving first, but I was leaning towards it being you. Like I said…you prefer action over idleness, and even though I do as well, I'm pretty certain I have more patience. I didn't anticipate you even taking this long. I was willing to give it maybe one or two more days."

"Well until this time I assumed we were being recorded on infrared cameras that my _father_ would be watching."

"That is definitely a factor."

"It appears you've had your own similar plans all along if you waited until tonight to tell me about the cameras."

"They weren't particularly meticulous plans or anything," he offered. "I am very good at reading people."

"So what is this we're in?"

"Hmm…" I heard him biting his thumbnail again. "Mutual attraction, they call it."

"Thanks for clearing that up… It's not exactly what I meant."

"Do you know what you meant, Light-kun?"

I pondered a moment. "No, actually, I guess I don't. Not precisely."

"That's strange."

"You don't have to tell me." I dipped my head to form my mouth over his neck, feeling my way up and down his pulse. I was undeniably curious as to what affect on him I would have. He was without a doubt the most eccentric person I'd ever known, even considering that most geniuses were eccentric in some way. I suppose I was eccentric for lusting after a man, especially a freak like L. I lifted his shirt up with both hands now, feeling all over his torso. He wasn't making it easy. He kept his knees bent and his hands never moved. "You're still testing me," I said into his neck.

"Yes." He reached up at last and took hold of my sleeves. "You're being quite conventional so far, Light-kun—as I expected."

"You call this conventional?" I questioned seriously.

"Considering these particular circumstances, yes."

"According to who?" I demanded.

"Don't forget I'm older than you, Light-kun," he mentioned. "I have more life experience."

I shook my head with a dry smirk. "How valid can the life experience of a recluse be?"

He blinked his big dark eyes lazily up at me. "Point taken."

"You can't be much older than me if you age at any sort of normal rate."

"Was that a compliment?"

"You can take it however you see it."

"Of course."

"Since you find me so conventional, how would you recommend proceeding?"

He gave that small knowing chortle, just a single sound, as if he was fully aware of everything and I had no inkling whatsoever. It was perfectly insulting. "How many girls have you been with, Light-kun?"

I frowned. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm attempting to estimate your level of inexperience. At this moment, on a scale of 1 to 10…I'd place you at a…6.5."

I frowned deeper and punched him straight across the face. He grunted and in another second he'd kneed me in the gut. I coughed and cringed, clutching my stomach as he wiped the spit from his chin. "I think…we fight as often as we agree," I remarked, catching my breath.

"It's closer to 60-40, in favor of us fighting."

"You're too technical, you know."

"I am how I am. I can't be anything else while our fates are twined." He started to unbutton the front of my shirt with his long nimble fingers, not hesitating even after I'd punched him and he'd kicked me.

"You knew about the cameras the whole time, so why wasn't it you who moved first?"

"I wanted to observe how you would approach the situation..."

"You are weird, L," I told him, stressing Misa's point.

"And you are too perfect, Yagami Light," he retorted.

"Maybe I did this just to see how you'd react."

"That would make sense, if you had done it where you could see me."

I paused before I shoved my mouth into his. He parted my shirt, holding each edge in his careful fingers. I wasn't surprised that he tasted sweet. I grasped his left kneecap and jerked it aside, spreading his legs. He sat further up on the bed and I maneuvered to kneel inside his calf. "Open your knees more," I instructed.

"I should make everything easy for you then? That doesn't sound like you."

"Bastard." I pushed his bent knees apart, making the way for me to lay over him.

"Aggressive. Now you're back to yourself."

I kissed him again, hard, and his knuckles wandered my bare chest. I grabbed a fistful of his hair in my hand and clenched when his fingers touched my nipples. When they hardened he played with them more and explored my mouth with his lapping tongue. Damn, this was a lot more than I was expecting. At the most, I figured he would let me kiss him, but this? Did I really want it to go this far, or farther? Maybe I'd miscalculated, or maybe I'd overestimated myself? No, I never overestimated myself. I'm fully aware of what I'm capable of, how I think. But what about him? Was he just playing along to dig deeper, still determined to prove I was KIRA? Was this just as unexpected for him and he was going with it just to ruffle my feathers?

I withdrew, my hand still a fist in his thick messy hair. "Like I've said before, it's not fair that you know me so well," I said to him.

"You know who I am, Light-kun, and how I behave," he said back to me in the dark. "Who I am here is who I really am. Just because you don't have my name or my origins doesn't mean you don't know me."

"…I suppose you're right."

"I don't disagree with your method of thinking, however. It's very practical. Most ordinary people wouldn't rationalize a person's identity that way. They apply feelings first to what they see, how they are responded to, but you, like myself, apply feelings with a more logical approach."

"So you're saying I'm not ordinary."

"You're extraordinary, Light-kun. We've established that."

"Compliments from you now, huh?" He leaned up and licked at my chest, forcing me to brace myself on the pillow with both hands while he nuzzled his face against me. He lapped almost thirstily, like an animal would. He carved a path of exhilaration down to my nipple where he rolled his tongue this time. I curled my fingers in the pillow when he nibbled and sucked as if I was candy. It felt good.

Had I miscalculated? I just didn't expect him to respond this way…! He must have ulterior motives for all this… I'd moved first and now he was pursuing it totally, with verve. Could he really have been waiting for this to happen? I couldn't have been that transparent, it wasn't possible. What would I do now?

I felt his teeth nibbling at my stiffened flesh. I stifled a groan and moved my hand to grasp his face from me. I held his chin and brought him back in front of me. I could hear him lick his lips.

"You're really not going to stop me," I said, searching for a motive. I'd started this as a game, but now that he was meeting me equally…what else could I do but press on? I couldn't bow out and let him win. Out of the question.

"I thought we'd already established that as well."

"So it doesn't matter to you that I'm a man?"

"I'm a man too. Does it matter to you?"

I considered. "I thought it would. I'm not gay. My whole life I've liked girls. I've had a plethora of girlfriends and been on countless dates with random admirers. Even Misa is sort of my girl now, but all of them never really were anything to me. They were a means to pass the time or to take a break from studying and practicing. Going on dates with girls was just about the only excusable way for me to relax." Maybe without my planning, this had turned out to be more than a game?

"So what are you saying, Light-kun?"

"…I'm saying that I never really thought of this before. All those girls either went out with me because I'm popular or they just wanted a way to make their brainless friends jealous. If a girl could honestly say she'd been out with Yagami Light, then she'd get attention from everyone for weeks. Other boys would notice her more too, assuming that if I thought she was good enough then she must be incredible. I used to get love letters in my locker nearly every day, and the other guys either hated my guts or sucked up to learn my tricks. Kids are diabolical these days, L. Maybe you should be glad you spend all your time with intelligent adults."

"Not all adults are intelligent, nor are they mature simply because they're aged. You're more of an adult than most adults I've ever known, even though you're younger than me."

"Haven't you said before that I'm immature?"

"Sometimes, but so am I. This doesn't mean you can't be mature in ways that matter most."

I was still holding his chin in my hand. I brought him closer with it and he latched onto my upper arms again. I really hadn't planned this out so far, and it was beyond my expectations. I should have been proceeding with more caution, should have avoided this contest, but it was too late now.

"I guess what I realized is…that just because you're a man doesn't mean you can't appeal to me in ways that matter most."

He blinked again and I felt his quiet, steady breathing. His wild bangs brushed my forehead again. "Interesting," was what he said.

I let my other hand drift down his stomach, feeling his abdomen flex sporadically, before I slid it down the front of his boxers. He flinched when I found him, just feeling my way through the unfamiliar process. I stroked against him steadily, experiencing the heating of his skin as it grew firmer. I had no experience to guide me, but that had never hindered me in anything before. I circled him and caressed until he shuddered, clenching his teeth. His breaths increasingly got heavier so I applied more pressure, gathering more confidence when his knees began to press to my sides, the bones digging into me. Good, I was getting the better of him. No matter how, it was always satisfying to pit myself against him and come out on top.

I started to smile but faltered when his fingertips tugged at the hem of my boxer-briefs. He nudged the cloth down and I let out a breath when he stroked me in return. He used his left hand so the cuffs wouldn't rattle, I assumed. I had to concentrate more now to continue my manipulation of him but I was determined enough not to seem like a child or let him best me now that we'd gone this far. Most of the time it was a good thing we were so competitive with each other. It helped us investigate, discover, and move forward in the case. Competition was a constant between us, and now I was beginning to see it would serve to help with this new exercise as well. Even now, even this, was definitely a competition. So far I was still winning, seeing as his knees were crushing my ribcage, but his hand roving all over me there was so mechanically efficient I would have mistaken it for skill. I was bowing my spine, bending closer over him now, as we panted against each other's faces. Even though pleasure was climbing in my body I had the urge to spout a sarcastic remark.

"So, you can use more than three fingers..." I half-gasped.

He balled his right fist in my shirt sleeve with a dull clatter of metal, clutching between my legs harder now with his left. "When the situation calls…" he replied through the strain. I groaned in my chest and returned the force. I ground my other fingers into the pillow under his head, knowing I would soon be coming. "Light—" he exhaled.

"I know, faster," I ordered. He bit into his bottom lip and worked me quicker, using his whole palm now, extending the span of his touches. "Yes," I said. I steadied myself as the surging heightened and heightened and as I felt his muscles tighten I knew he was coming too.

He suddenly jerked back into the mattress and his fluids streamed over his bare stomach, although he didn't make a sound other than blowing the air from his lungs. I followed suit right after, groaning through my teeth with it and then slumping over him. I dropped my shoulders, letting my face settle in his unkempt hair.

I could feel the sweat now, beading at my hairline and neck. For a long while we both just caught our breath, each feeling the slick heat of the other, each gradually calming, cooling. He dislodged his grip on me and I did the same, readjusting so our handcuffs wouldn't grind into our skin and I was lying on top of him.

"…You know, Light-kun," he said beside my ear, "I'm nearly 60% sure you were planning this…if even only subconsciously."

"How do you figure that?" I asked, lifting my face from his thick, wiry hair. I smoothed it back, trying to get it out of my way as much as possible.

"Why else would you wear nothing but a button-down shirt today? Lately you've been wearing two layers everyday, but today you wore only this shirt. Why else would you decide to do that today?"

"Coincidence?" I suggested.

"Or the premature blueprints of your plan."

"I'll leave it for you to decide."

"That's cruel, Light-kun."

I laughed a little. "Not really. You've already decided anyway, right?"

I heard him biting his nail again. "Perhaps." I sighed and wiped the back of my hand over my forehead beneath my bangs. I listened as he started to lick his fingers clean. "…And perhaps I let you do this because I cannot stand being idle. We've been walled up together in this building, both of us devoting the majority of our energy to a single consuming purpose. That in itself is a form of idleness. Usually, I can work on nothing but a single case for weeks on end, never interrupting my thought process even while eating or dozing off. All those times, however, I did not have a partner. Perhaps because of that unprecedented factor, in other words you, the idleness at last got to me. Perhaps you are nothing but an outlet for my lack of action."

"Perhaps. And perhaps I really did throw you down spontaneously just to see how you'd react, even if I can't exactly see you, per say. Maybe I was bored. Maybe this started as a game. Either way, for whichever reason, we did this and it's done."

"That's true. I suppose then, all things considered, with that conclusion…the question to be asked is…"

"…What now?"

"Precisely."

"I think we'd best answer that question later." I hit the light on my watch and glanced at the time on the illuminated face. "It's nearly morning and I've hardly slept. Like you said, I'll be no good to the investigation if my concentration suffers out of exhaustion. Not to mention, we need to be better prepared…to go any further."

"So you do plan to go further?"

I chuckled again, hoping maybe I could string him out, maybe make him lose his cool over this. He was still a guy, no matter how strange. Maybe this game would get even more interesting if I could keep on spurring him. "Like I said, there will be time to talk about that later. We'll have to clean up in the morning… I'm going to sleep." I pushed up with my arms, removing myself from between his knees, and rolled over onto my back on my side of the bed. I buttoned a few buttons of my shirt back to hide the semen that had spilled and stretched my legs as I pulled my underwear back up over myself. Beside me I heard him adjusting his own clothing, rustling about on the sheet as I attempted to cover myself with it. "Get under it," I told him.

He did after a moment and I turned onto my side away from him, taking deep, calming breaths. I could smell the salty fragrance of sweat and ejaculate, and decided I would take my own advice and think about everything later. So I'd partially fucked another man, so what? I'd only been planning to mess around with him a little, maybe get a rise out of him, maybe analyze his response out of boredom. I hadn't anticipated what it led to, and didn't like the idea that my body ran away with me. I was always in control, so now I would have to plan further.

I wasn't the type to kid myself, and I had never denied that I was strangely attracted to L, because I'd never really stopped long enough to ponder it before. Well, even though it may've started as a curiosity, now it was an undeniable fact most definitely, and impossible to disregard. Maybe the close quarters and 24/7 surveillance really had gotten to me. After all, I was trapped, and it had been a while since I'd slept with anyone, or gotten any sort of physical relief. With all the hectic mayhem and on-and-off camera observation I'd been through, touching myself was beyond out of the question. I probably just did this because I had no other options. I was chained to the guy, for God's sake. If the situation allowed for the possibility, would I have chosen Misa over him? Most probably, most likely, but certainly…?

I heard him shuffling around again and then his body heat began to soak into me. The bed sunk in and I felt him right behind me, not pressed, but close enough to do so if he tried. I glanced over my shoulder, not that I could really see, and only caught a hazy glimpse of his pale face. Were his eyes open or closed? I couldn't really tell, but he was breathing evenly. I began to hear his teeth rhythmically chewing his nails and sighed, telling myself again that I couldn't believe I was used to this.

What was it that drew me to him? There was his brilliant mind and deductive prowess, of course. Ever since I heard of him on the news, the World's Greatest Detective L, and read about his solved cases online, I'd admired him. I aspired to be a detective myself one day, hopefully soon, working on the police force like my father before me. Now that I'd met him, I intended to come as close as I could to surpassing L's success in my lifetime. He was without argument a genius, and true geniuses were near impossible to come by these days. Never before had I come face-to-face with someone I could call my equal, and now here I had come face-to-face with him and more so.

Was that all it took to enrapture me? Was I that bored of girls? Girls were always the same; always empty-headed or else full of themselves, always expecting to be coddled, always falling for the same cheap old romance. Too simple for me. This thing with L was anything but simple, even without the handcuffs, armed guards, and mass murderers.

So maybe it wasn't just sexual withdrawal. Maybe I liked a challenge. Maybe I was just tired of the same old things and wanted something different. Maybe I wasn't so horny I would settle for anyone. I had to exert myself to attain this, unlike how it would go with any girl, especially Misa. Spout a few classic lines with an eloquent tongue and they're putty in my hands. Easy enough. L, on the other hand… I couldn't win him over with flowery lines or practiced sonnets. The very thought was ridiculous. With L, I had to approach with caution, had to tread lightly, had to outright battle to get anywhere.

Could this possibly be more than just another competition? Was this something other than just a game for both of us? If I wasn't sure myself, than he certainly didn't know either. Was it unintentional on both sides? Were we just winging it as we went along? Would this turn out to be something beyond either of our inkling?

I'd think about it later.

I woke to the wet discomfort of nibbling on my ear. I was disoriented at first, blinking into the dull light of morning, thinking maybe it was a bizarre dream. I stretched and realized I was awake and that my ear was still being chewed on. I flinched and glanced over my shoulder to see L huddled against my back, his knees drawn up into his chest just as if he were sitting. His hands were clasping my shirt collar lightly and his mouth was searching me once I moved my head. Now his teeth nipped at my neck and hair. I rubbed my eyelids and saw that he was in fact asleep, nibbling at things unconsciously. The wet warmth of his lips and faint pain of his teeth felt rather good, especially upon waking, but I decided this was the last thing we needed my father or Watari to walk in on.

I rolled over to face him, watching him stir as I pulled free from his hands. I had never seen him actually sleeping before, not once. Had I worn him out? The thought made me smirk to myself and I leaned on my elbow, just watching this rare spectacle in all its silence for a while. His hands took hold of the pillow and he came forward to nuzzle closer against me as if he were cold. I laughed, thinking maybe this was why he didn't sleep when we had to share a bed. He tried to bite at my neck again but I caught his chin and nudged him back.

"Hey, Ryuzaki," I said. He licked his lips, smacking them, but didn't wake up. "L?" I shook his shoulder a little and he curled his toes over each other, exhaling, but remained asleep. Great, now that he was sleeping I couldn't wake him up. A little bit of drool collected on his bottom lip and I snickered as I wiped it off with my thumb, but he immediately latched on to suckle it. I leaned my cheek on my hand and let him for a while, knowing I could explain this later if we were being taped.

I pulled away and lifted his hand, sticking his own thumb in his mouth so he'd have something to nibble at to keep him occupied. I began to sit up and he mumbled my name so I leaned back down. "You aren't sweet, but you taste good…" he muttered in a drowsy, near inaudible voice.

"Is that so?" I sat up and put my feet over the edge of the bed, chaffing my fingers through my disheveled hair. I smelled like dry sweat but luckily the other smell was basically dissipated by now. First thing on my list was a shower, and I stood up and yawned before I remembered I was handcuffed to the slumbering freak. I tugged at the chain briefly and sighed, sitting back down. "Damn it," I mumbled. I almost felt bad about wanting to wake him, seeing as he never slept. It was amusing as he lay there bundled up in a ball and sucked his thumb. Sometimes he just looked like a dopey little kid. I sighed briefly and shook his shoulder again, but he just wrinkled his nose and frowned a little. Oh, wonderful. I looked around for a minute and got an idea.

I crawled back onto the bed, stepping carefully over him, and stretched our chain enough so I could grab the bag of marshmallows from the table with my right hand. I knelt back beside him with the package and held it over his ear as I crinkled the plastic. He stirred and I repeated the action closer to him, dangling the bag in front of his face. He sniffed a little before his eyelids parted slowly and he blinked only once, the sunken bags under his eyes still there and still dark. He reached up without hesitation and grabbed the package, moving to sit up with his knees bent, like he'd never been asleep. He started to eat them before he noticed me.

"It's about time," I said.

"I was sleeping?" he asked.

"Yeah. I don't know how long."

"Hmm… I haven't slept like that in nearly a month."

"I can tell. It was hell getting you up."

"Sorry." He was still eating marshmallows.

"I knew sweets would rouse you."

He looked down at the bag in his hands. "Oh, now I see. Sly of you, Light-kun," he said with his mouth full.

I shrugged and soon after there was a knock at the door. "Good morning," Watari said as he came in, a shotgun propped over his shoulder. I was used to this too. "Oh, Ryuzaki, did you sleep?"

"Apparently," he replied.

"Are you feeling well?"

"I'm fine, Watari, thank you. I believe Light-kun is ready for a shower."

"Alright then. You both know the drill by now, I take it?"

"Sure," I said, and we both moved off the bed. L crumpled the empty marshmallow bag and tossed it in the wastebasket as we passed. We all filed into the restroom, passing the few toilet stalls and stopping in front of the large shower stall. My clothes were organized in a cabinet that had been moved into the corner and L's garments were stuffed in the drawers below. We waited as Watari loaded the gun in front of us and cocked it, ready, willing, and able to shoot should I try anything suspicious. He tossed the keys to L and kept the barrel steady on me as he unlocked us both and then gave the keys back. We removed the cuffs and handed the apparatus to the armed assistant. I rubbed my wrist a little and then went over to turn on and adjust the water in the shower. We undressed and then stood together in the stall as the hot water beat down and Watari stood guard outside the stall door.

I washed my hair first and he scrubbed lightly at his own, the water soaking his wild hair and making it cling heavily to his head. It hung in his eyes and over his ears and he chaffed it unenthusiastically with the shampoo.

"So you wash your hair but you just never brush it," I said loud enough for Watari to overhear. L mopped his wet bangs out of his eyes and looked over at me. Now that I'd gotten his attention I spoke quietly. "With the running water and echo in this room, we'll be able to talk to each other without him hearing," I said.

"Something on your mind then?" he replied quietly in his monotone.

"We'll need to have our clothes and sheets washed," I mentioned.

"The laundry service in this building is anonymous. It shouldn't be suspicious if we want clean sheets after a week."

"We'll just put them in with the rest of the laundry and no one will notice."

"Namely Yagami-san." I looked back over at him as I rubbed conditioner in my hair. He didn't use any.

"Yes, but everyone else too. Do you really want Matsuda, or worse Misa, to figure it out? We'd never hear the end of it." I rinsed my hair after a little while and he came closer to me so he could rinse his own in the spray. "Besides, what would Watari think? You're a professional and I'm a suspect. We're supposed to be working together, not fooling around with each other."

"I see your point. Have you decided to abandon your awkward seduction, then, for the sake of mankind?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I retorted with a frown.

He seemed to ignore me. "Of course, if you're still planning to go all the way, things will get even messier. Then what would we do? Changing the sheets once in a week is not suspicious, but twice?"

I scoffed and went back to scrubbing. "I'd figure something out."

"So then, I'm assuming you'd intend to be, as they say, the seme?"

"The what?"

He mopped his sopping hair out of his eyes again and looked at me. "The one on top."

I blinked down at his lazy expression. Was he testing me again? Was this a challenge right back at me? He didn't seem awkward in any way. Was he just that laid-back? I couldn't imagine he was experienced. And he'd just made fun of me for not being smooth. Had he figured it out? He seemed as if he were deliberately answering back at my uncertainties. Did he hope to fake me out, make me back down? Was he aiming to win by tripping me up with his forwardness, his lack of modesty? I wouldn't let it be so easy.

"Of course," I replied.

"Even though I'm older."

"Yes."

"Exactly as I expected." He started to scrub the rest of him with soap, more like he was scratching an itch rather than cleansing his skin. Damn him. I used my own soap and he was done before me like always and stood out from under the water, scratching his hair some more like it itched worse now that it was clean. I finished without another word and then we stepped out of the stall, drying off under Watari's steady aim. I threw on new undergarments and a black v-neck beneath a white button-down, then stepped into some khaki pants and socks. My tennis shoes were still near the bedroom door. L, as always, tossed on plain boxer-shorts, baggy jeans, and a wrinkled white t-shirt. Never socks. As we walked back over, he popped his toes one by one.

"You can handle the rest handcuffed together then?" Watari asked, somehow politely.

"Yes, thank you," L said, and he took out the shackles and closed them back over my left wrist and L's right so we were chained together again. He nodded after that and left us alone in the bathroom, taking the keys with him to stow in some unknown hiding place.

I stuffed our dirty clothes into a hamper and then combed my hair in the mirror. L simply stood near and shook out his mane, much like a dog would, sprinkling water all over me. "Hey, watch it."

"Sorry."

"You really aren't going to brush it?"

"It doesn't matter, does it?"

"It should, at least to you."

"Cleanliness is godliness…is that it?" He leaned forward and eyed me.

"Not this again. I am not KIRA." I smoothed a few strands behind my ear and combed the back.

"You sure do care about your looks then, Light-kun."

"Just because I have good hygiene habits? Would you even shower at all if we weren't handcuffed?"

"Certainly, but not for nearly as long as you do."

I frowned again and turned to him, stabbing the comb into his soaked bangs. It stuck there. I pulled it out and ran it through one side, but it stuck again. "Your hair is too tangled to ever get a comb through anyway."

"Probably." He pulled it out and I turned and started brushing my teeth. He did that much at least, working away at his teeth with the toothbrush held in his thumb and index finger.

"I'm surprised your teeth haven't rotted right out of your mouth," I commented as I finished.

"You don't much care for sweets, isn't that what you said?"

"Yeah."

"But you do like potato chips quite a bit."

"Yeah, but it's not the same thing."

"Junk food is junk food. Salty or sweet, it's just as bad for you."

"Then why don't you eat anything else?"

"High sugar content also helps my cognitive abilities. I must keep the level up or my deductive skills suffer. Everything requires balance."

"I can honestly say I've never met a stranger genius."

"And I've never met a better looking one." He rinsed his mouth and shook out his hair again, clawing his fingertips down through his bangs so his eyes weren't covered, but that was all. The sides and back still stuck out and up, only bound to get worse when dry. How was I attracted to this person? Had I been locked up even longer than I thought?

"You think so?"

"I wasn't lying when I said you were regal, Light-kun. You're a handsome young man. Any girl would be after you, and lucky to have you." He started to walk off and I stumbled a little before I caught up.

"Hold on a second," I said, grabbing his shoulder. I spun him around and he looked up at me. "That sounded like jealousy."

"Did it?"

"I've heard enough of it to know."

He frowned. "Maybe it was. I'm not sure. I've never been jealous before…"

"Never?"

He pursed his bottom lip and stared up at the ceiling for a couple moments, seriously pondering. "No, I don't think so. I was a little envious of Misa's worship for you back then…but before I met you and revealed my face, who would I really be jealous of?"

"I see what you mean… You really like me that much?"

"What's not to like about you, Light-kun?"

We were staring at each other. "How am I supposed to answer that?"

"It was a rhetorical question."

"Your questions never sound rhetorical."

"Oh." We paused again. He sniffed the air a little. "I smell breakfast. Watari must be cooking for everyone again."

"Food is never far from your thoughts."

He leaned forward suddenly, breaching personal boundaries nonchalantly and coming very close to my lips. "Even if you taste good, you don't provide any nourishment, Light-kun."

I blinked at him and he stared without wavering. His tone was always the same, and so practical. He was good at this game, that's for sure. I took my hands from his shoulders and he turned away so I followed. We gathered up the sheets and put them in the hamper as well, setting it outside to be taken to laundry as we stepped into the hall. I slid my shoes on and tied them and then we walked side-by-side into the universal dining area between floors, where the kitchen was located. Watari was already at work over the stove and all the round little tables-for-two were set.

Misa looked over to see us enter the room and immediately brightened. "Good morning, Light! I'm so glad they let me come to eat with you!" She bounded over in her stocking-feet towards me and half-skidded across the tile, tripping and gasping. I rushed forward to catch her waist in my arms so she wouldn't fall over and hurt herself. L was forced to dive with me and our chain rattled loudly.

"Are you okay?" I asked her, my arms circling her waist securely.

She was gazing up at me with rosy cheeks and stars in her eyes. "You saved me, Light! Thank you!" She threw her arms around my neck and I lifted her to her feet so we would be standing.

"You're welcome, but you need to be more careful, alright?"

"Alright. I love you more and more, Light!" She hugged me still even when I tried to let her go so I patted her back a little. She released me, smiling so big it nearly blinded me. "You're my hero!"

"Light-kun is quite the dashing prince," L mentioned, I think just to get under Misa's skin.

She glared over at him, nearly growling. "Quit saying weird things, Ryuzaki-san!" She hopped over and disheveled his already messy hair, making it stick up on the top.

"I was only agreeing with you, Misa-san," he contested, hunching over like always as he fixed what little there was to fix.

"Only I'm allowed to say things like that to Light! He's my boyfriend!"

"Settle down, you two," I said, always needing to be the mediator between them for some reason. L couldn't possibly be that jealous since the beginning, so it was just something between them that they couldn't resolve. Maybe it was how loud and seemingly dumb Misa was that made L not want to deal with her outbursts. He was always laid back, but I was beginning to realize that didn't necessarily mean he was always patient. He was usually calm, but he could get frustrated if pushed the right, or wrong, way.

"Breakfast is almost ready," Watari was saying.

Matsuda was helping him to cook and Mogi, Aizawa, and Ide were already seated around the room, reading newspapers. There were monitors in here too, of course, and currently the news from a dozen different channels was playing on all of them. L headed for a table with me right behind and I caught Misa sticking her tongue out at him behind his back. He sat in a chair facing the monitors so I came around his right side and sat across from him, our chain dangling under the table, a routine we'd perfected simply enough. Misa noisily dragged a chair over and sat close on my right side, smiling cutely the whole time, I guess just happy to be near me. I don't think any girl had been quite this enamored with me before. I couldn't even really recall how she'd gotten so attached to me.

My father walked in adjusting his jacket. "Morning, Chief!" Matsuda said happily. The other taskforce members nodded and he returned the gesture.

He looked over at our table. "Good morning, Light, Amane, Ryuzaki."

"Morning, Dad. I hope you got some sleep last night."

"I got enough." Misa waved cheerfully at him and he smiled faintly and then turned to get some coffee. Matsuda poured it for him and he sat at the bar on a stool to drink it. Watari brought everyone plates of a western breakfast dish: thick, fluffy blueberry waffles. He also came around and set a tray of various condiments on each table, the tray in front of L being the most heavily stocked. I stared at it all before I used regular maple syrup on mine, and Misa ate hers with strawberry syrup. L shook out a ton of powdered sugar on his, then piled on whipped cream and drizzled chocolate sauce over that for nearly a solid minute. After all that, he placed a strawberry on top and started cutting away at the heap as he watched the screens.

Misa made a revolted face so without looking L stabbed an extra fork into his strawberry and handed it to her. She took it unsurely. "Thanks, Ryuzaki-san."

"Girls should like sweet things," he said. I ate steadily, listening to the morning broadcasts as I observed L divide his waffles into symmetric squares before stuffing his face with them. I knew he was hearing every single word spoken, even on a dozen different screens.

Watari served L tea, providing a crystal dish of sugar cubes, and then asked Misa and me whether we wanted tea or coffee. She said tea and I wanted coffee. I always drank mine black, hoping today it would wake me up a little so I could concentrate. L glared at my cup once I set it down and then threw me a desperate look. "At least put some sugar in it, Light-kun," he said, as if it truly upset him to watch me drink it.

"What does it matter? It's not you drinking it."

"I'm getting a bitter taste in my mouth just watching you."

I sighed. "Okay." I held my cup out to him and he dumped two cubes in right away, trying for more but I stopped him. "Two is enough." He picked up another spoon and dunked it in the cup for me. "Thanks. You know, not everybody needs sugar to think straight."

"Sugar always helps."

He went back to his heaping mess that used to be waffles and I leaned my cheek on my hand and smiled to myself, stirring the sugar into my coffee. Misa was giving me a weird look so I ignored her. I lost track of how many sugar cubes L put in his own drink and listened instead to the local station. Same old same old. No KIRA killings since the last spree. Armed robbery, petty crimes, vandalism…although not as much as you'd think. Fear of KIRA's judgment? Sometimes I felt like the world really would be a better place without a great many people in it. The immoral, the evil, the killers… Of course, to achieve a world like that, the law would have to be respected by all. If people could just learn to regard each other with courtesy and govern dignity…then we'd all be happy. I wasn't like KIRA, no. I believed in the law and the integrity of honest, hard-working people like my father. I would put a stop to this with my own hands. I needed to stop comparing myself to KIRA or it would drive me crazy. L's theory kept making me think this way, but I knew it wasn't true, and it made me want to catch the real KIRA all the more.

"Light-kun?"

I broke out of my daze and looked up. "Huh?" L was watching me from across the table. His plate was empty except for a few smears of chocolate syrup.

"You suddenly looked so serious. You didn't even notice when Misa-san left to use the restroom. Something more on your mind?" He wiped up a finger-full of syrup and licked it.

"Oh, no… Not really."

"Pondering our purpose here?"

"What makes you think that?"

"Every so often you get that spark of determination in your eyes. It's quite inspiring, actually."

"Well that gives you another advantage then. I wish I could tell anything from your eyes." I saw a smudge of whipped cream and chocolate on his chin that he'd seemed not to notice. I looked around the room, saw that no one was looking this way, and then reached across the table and wiped the cream away with my finger. "You've got quite the poker face, Ryuzaki." I licked my finger clean and he watched me do so. This would get to him, if even a little. "I really don't know how you can eat all this stuff and never get sick…or gain weight for that matter."

"High metabolism?" he suggested, as if I could know.

"Must be."

The investigation went nowhere. It seemed the new KIRA was sticking to a routine pattern, and we would need to dig a little deeper to narrow things down. L was focused the whole time, behaving as always, not seeming a bit distracted. I envied that because my mind was a swarm of distracting thoughts. They insisted on occupying me instead of the case. I wasn't much help, but regardless there was little if any progress that day.

As midnight approached, L and I realized we were the only two left awake. Suddenly my throat was tight. "We should head to bed now, Light-kun," he was saying. "You need your sleep." I didn't say anything as I let him lead me up the stairs and through the hall…into the elevator and past our door. I removed my shoes, socks, and pants, tossing the garments into the hamper. He did the same with his jeans, hardly glancing at me. I followed him to the bed, letting him sit down before I grabbed his face and pulled it to me. "Already, Light-kun?"

"Just shut up for a second." I kissed him forcefully, keeping my hands attached to his arms. He was licking at my mouth, inside and against my tongue, once again behaving as if I was made of sugar. I didn't want to stop, but I pushed him away by his shoulders. "We shouldn't be doing this, you know. We shouldn't even be thinking about it." I shook my head. Was I telling this to him, or to myself?

"What you mean is, 'we should only be thinking of the case and of catching KIRA'."

"Exactly." I pulled him back to me by his shirt collar, kissing him again, hard.

He returned it for a while and then we withdrew again. "This is far too much of a distraction. We have responsibilities. We're supposed to be risking our lives to bring a killer to justice."

"I'm well aware. That's my point." We kissed again, not as deeply this time. I studied his face, trying to overlook my spit, glossy on his mouth. "So why aren't we stopping?"

"Am I expected to know that answer?" he asked as he licked his lips.

"I suppose not."

"It appears that in this instance…we negate each other's reason…regarding one another."

"So it would seem…or maybe you're hoping to acquire my confession by playing along with this…and getting closer to me?"

"Is there anything you have to confess, Light-kun? I thought you said you were innocent." I clenched my teeth and shoved him down onto the bed, leaning over him. I swung the chain of our cuffs over his head so it would be off to the side of him and I'd have more slack. "You like to be in control, I see."

"Just like KIRA, right?" I said through my teeth. "That's what you're thinking."

"Correct."

"Is this what it's all about, then?" He was still hunched over under me, shoulders bunched, knees bent. I lowered my face close to his ear. His hair brushed over my cheek and temple. "Maybe it's just the type of person I am. Like you said, I'm immature. I don't like losing, not even to someone like you. If this is still a game, I'm winning."

"There's another possibility," he said.

"Another possibility?" I had a hunch what he was going to say.

"Yes. If you in fact are KIRA, then this could be an underhanded tactic employed in order to discover my name…and therefore eliminate me as a threat. Albeit this is a farfetched theory. This is a rather desperate act, uncharacteristic of KIRA… In addition, it was implemented so clumsily…and far too obviously, even to a simpleton. KIRA has far more finesse when he acts out his plans. The chances of option two are nearly 0%..."

"So, this is option two: As KIRA I'm attempting to gain L's complete trust by deepening our intimacy. As KIRA, I'm hoping to succeed in getting you attached to me personally so that you'll hate the thought of me being KIRA and avoid that conclusion. As KIRA, I'm seducing my one great rival, hoping to stifle the opposition by crawling into bed with it."

"That about sums it up entirely…"

"You…!"

"I know. I said the chances were almost 0%... I can't imagine even KIRA going to such outlandish lengths…especially considering the likelihood of miserable failure. Which would mean that option one remains intact…and you're doing this because you want to." He looked intently up at me. "Isn't that right, Light-kun?"

"Aside from the low probability of KIRA being that…'clumsy' as you put it, if I was KIRA, then I know L, and I know L wouldn't let personal feelings interfere with finding the truth. Your justice is above all else. You would never weigh physical desire against thousands of human lives." He lifted his head more and so I leaned further over him, pinning him down with my chest to his shins. He still looked at me and I spoke more quietly. "Also, if I was KIRA, then I would be a cold and calculating mass murderer and would never go for this either. I'd never let myself get attached to my nemesis. I'd never fall for my enemy, and I'd certainly never lower myself to hitting on him. I wouldn't be able to stomach something like that, not with my pride. If I was KIRA…I'd never allow anything to interfere with my goal, and never sink to this. Like you said, there would be better ways to get your name; surer, slyer, less awkward ways."

"You're so good at thinking like KIRA, Light-kun… That's why I ask you to play the part every time the investigation calls for it. I agree with you…and you do understand me well enough to know I'd never put my bodily feelings over my righteousness. Only someone exceedingly shallow would do such a thing… Still, I can't quite decide if you're serious about this or not."

"You don't think I am?"

"Would we be in this situation if we weren't together 24 hours a day, unable to walk more than five steps from each other, unable to breathe or blink without the other observing?"

"Maybe not, but you have to keep in mind that even if I was handcuffed to someone else, I wouldn't be tempted to do this at all. I don't go around hunting down men you know, and it's your fault and yours alone that I haven't been able to concentrate fully on the investigation. No one else is to blame. No one else is distracting me or occupying my mind. I might not have tried something like this if we weren't handcuffed, that much is true, but I wouldn't have tried it with anybody else _at all_."

"Is that true, Light-kun?" His eyes were wider, genuinely surprised. "I didn't know you liked me that much."

"Let's just say that lately I haven't been able to get you off my mind."

"Is that the same as liking?"

"Can't say for sure, but I'm starting to realize that the things I notice about you, the things that I document when I observe you, all the seemingly routine nothings you're barely aware of, are things that I like about you."

"Really? That's interesting of you say, very interesting. I thought my behavior annoyed you."

"It used to, but I like the fact that you're unique not just for your intelligence."

"Hmm… I guess I should say thank you."

I watched him there under me for a while, wondering why he was yielding to me so easily. Was he deceiving me? Was he planning something? I'd started this game and now I had to finish it…right? If I bowed out now, he would see it as cowardice, or maybe not. Maybe it was his plan to go along with me so readily, so submissively, that it discouraged me. Maybe he was the one manipulating me. Could I still get the better of him? But which course of action would lead to victory?

"Hey, Ryuzaki," I said close to his face, never allowing my gaze to falter, "how about we have sex?"

He pushed up a little on his hands and was quiet for a while. His eyes never glanced away from my face in his. "You want to, Light-kun?"

"It's been a while for me, with all this KIRA chaos, so I'm sure it's been a while for you too."

"So you're offering mutual relief," he said. "Do you think that would increase or decrease the tension between us?"

"It all depends on if you want to or not."

"I can't be certain of that, though."

"Why not?" He sat back up all the way, drawing his knees to his chest. "Ryuzaki?"

"Because I've never done it before, so I can't very well be sure if I want to or not."

I chuckled. "Well I've never done it with a man before either, but I think I can manage well enough."

"You misunderstand, Light-kun. I haven't ever done it before with anyone."

My eyes widened. "Really?" He nodded. "But you're such a good kisser…" I trailed off, not believing I'd just admitted that.

"Evidently that skill is a consequence of other unrelated skills."

"You can't be serious."

"Is it that strange? I hadn't realized… I've been very busy the majority of my life. I'm always in hiding, always working, always solitary. You're the first person I've ever been this close to, Light-kun, especially for this amount of time."

"So I'd be the first person you've ever been with."

"Yes."

Unbelievable! I don't think I'd ever encountered a virgin before in a situation like this, and certainly not one who was a man of his age. Did this change things? If he wasn't lying, and I really didn't think he was, then he couldn't possibly have any devious plans worked out. He was facing something he was totally unprepared for. I was an unprecedented factor in L's vision. Amazing. Suddenly, this made me want to do it all the more strongly. Before I thought maybe he'd decline and I wouldn't dwell on it, but now I wanted to. Was something wrong with me to feel this way?

"So…why not give it a try?" I asked. "I don't mind."

"You don't? Is it just because you've been cooped up without release? You said before you wouldn't be doing this if we weren't handcuffed. You're figuring 'I might as well because he's convenient'."

"Not exactly." I grabbed his shoulders. "I told you before that I like you."

"What about Misa-san?"

Where did that come from? "What about her?"

"She is your girlfriend."

"She's the one who said that, not me. What are you getting at? I just asked if you wanted to have sex with me. A guy as smart as you should be able to figure out the answer to that, don't you think?"

"I suppose you're right." He chewed his thumbnail for a while. "The answer I would have to give, then…would be yes. At least, I'm 80% sure I want to…"

I couldn't help myself from laughing. "Well, as long as you're sure."

"You said you wanted relief. Will you get much from doing this with me? I'm a man, and I'm inexperienced. I would probably only hinder your endeavor."

"I'll never know until I try." I leaned closer to him. "Besides, you're the one who was mocking me earlier by saying I was inexperienced."

"True, that was hypocritical of me, but then I wasn't sure you were serious. I was being childish."

"Well so was I. I didn't think you'd kiss me back."

"I couldn't just sit idly by and do nothing. In fact…maybe I should do something for you before we start."

"What do you mean?"

"I probably won't be much relief for you otherwise." He crouched down between my knees, arching his back downward and lowering his head.

"Ryuzaki?"

He tugged the hem of my underwear down with his index finger, exposing my partial erection. "You're already aroused," he mentioned, like he was observing an experiment. "Was it just from the kissing?"

"…I won't say it again," I scoffed, looking away even though it was too dark to clearly see regardless. I felt the wet heat of his tongue on me there, just grazing at first, and it made me catch my breath. I leaned back further and adjusted my legs, maneuvering them out from under me. He was hunching between them now, still bundled up in his customary position as he licked and licked at me, treating me like candy again. That couldn't possibly be the source of his skill…

He lapped at every surface of me, coating me in his saliva before he slid his mouth over and started to suck. I clenched my fists in the sheet and let him roam as he pleased, thinking that I'd underestimated him rather than overestimated. He kept tripping up my calculations. He was the only human being I'd ever come across who'd been able to that, and more than once. He started to move faster, with more certainty, and his fingertips brushed my thighs before they moved to my stomach. Damn it, this was too good—especially for a virgin. Was he just that adaptable? Was he just that good at whatever he applied his mind to?

He sucked and rolled his tongue, causing sweat to burst all over my body, making my shirt cling to my skin. I was hot and suffering, climbing that summit rapidly at his coercion.

"Wait," I managed to choke out. "If you keep going, I'll…!" I couldn't withhold my groan as the orgasm hit, shocking my mind as it did my body. My spine jolted and I felt his fingers flinch on my abdomen. I sighed loudly and felt him withdraw, spilling a little of my fluids before I heard him smacking it from his lips. He used his fingers to collect the rest and licked them one by one, wiping his mouth clean too.

"Salty," he said.

"I thought you were just getting me ready," I commented.

"I'm sorry," he replied. "I wasn't sure when to stop, and then it happened suddenly."

"Better hurry and finish before I lose it then." I wrapped my hand around the chain connecting us and yanked it abruptly, sending him straight into my chest. I grabbed hold of his shirt collar and pulled his face to me, forcing the kiss. He didn't resist and I could still taste me on him. I pushed him back after that, feeling spit trail between us, and shoved him back down on the mattress. Our cuffs jingled and I got his knees open quick, not sparing any time to think. I pulled his boxers down and off his ankles.

"I see this is going to be rough?" he said.

"I think it'll be rough either way."

"You don't make love gently like you speak then, Light-kun?" he said. "Do the girls like it that way—rough and aggressive?"

"Yeah, they do. Outside of the bedroom they like sweet lines and poetry, but behind closed doors it's a different story. Girls like to be dominated even though most of them deny it."

"I see…" I laid over him, lifting his upper body a little off the bed so I could find a proper angle. It was much more difficult than it had to be, seeing as I was moving about in the pitch-dark. I'd have to prepare him for this so I wouldn't hurt him too badly. I was already plenty wet thanks to him, but he'd need more attending to.

"You've never liked a girl, L?" I asked, using his other name again just to emphasize the situation. I passed my fingers over his face, lifting him a little more by the nape of his neck. He took hold of my shoulders.

"No, I can't say I have. I've never been around many girls. Most of the police and Special Forces I come in contact with, if I ever do, are primarily male. It's a common statistic."

"You seemed to like Misa a good deal."

"Well, she is the first girl I've ever been friends with, after all. She's the first girl I've ever been around in person for this long. I suppose it's natural…and I didn't stop to consider it. Of course, she irritates me also."

"So I've noticed." I rubbed my fingers over his lips and then slid them past, letting him suckle, wetting them. He performed the action readily, without protest. I took them back and let my hand drift down, searching for his opening. "This is probably going to hurt."

"I assumed so." His fingers dug into my shoulders and I forced my first finger inside him, making him stiffen and grit his teeth. His hands latched harder still and I got the second finger in, hearing him take in air through his bared teeth. I moved both my fingers slickly in and out, working the passage first, not wanting to tear him violently if I could help it. But did I really care? I was going to do this, no matter what. I was determined now. I slid my fingers out and positioned myself over him, bringing his legs to either side of me. He bent his knees and sat up more, holding my shoulders still. I used my hand to help find the way and then I prepared to penetrate.

"Now," I said. He didn't acknowledge me before I'd impaled him, and he gasped with it, tightening his knees around me. I didn't get very far with the initial move, so I threw my hips up and forward, burrowing deeper.

"Ahh—!" he exclaimed. "It does hurt…! It's logically sound, but I never…" He trailed off when I slid back out and then in again swiftly, making him grunt in his throat.

"You want to stop?"

"Do you?"

"I asked you first…" I was moving steadily now, trying to get the rhythm right. His flesh wasn't yielding as easily as the rest of him.

"Nnng…! No," he managed to say.

"Good. Me either."

I continued vigorously, finding this radically different than being with any girl, even if the bare mechanical process was still the same. His insides were tighter, hotter, harder to move within; unyielding even as he panted against my face, fluttering my hair in warm waves. It felt really good, even better than I expected. I kept a firm grip against his back, straining as I got closer each second, biting my lip through the pain of his powerful legs crushing my sides. My eyes had been adjusting even as flecks of color bled into my vision, and I could see he was drooling open-mouthed, not trying to withhold it. It dribbled down his chin and I smeared it across his mouth when I kissed him fiercely. I was too hot, too turned-on. This was different than any time before, different than any brainless girl in high school who invited me back to her place to "study," different than any crooning admirer offering a quickie in the gym restroom. Was it just because he was a man? I'd never thought about doing this with a man before, so that had to be it, right?

"Light—" he suddenly gasped, barely separate from my mouth.

"Yeah?"

"I need—more," he stated. He fell back, taking me with him. I was surprised, and had to pause with the change, readjusting my position, delaying my peak. I moaned a little from it, aching from the steady climb. He grabbed my hand from his shoulder and pressed it over him there, soaking it with heat. I made a fist over him and stroked there while I commenced moving, hearing him grind his teeth and moan through them. His nimble hands were fists in my sleeves and his legs were bruising me definitely.

"So how is it? Feels good, right?" I had to rub it in.

"You're confident," he said.

"Sure I am." I smiled then. "Almost there," I said, doubling my efforts.

"Yes," he agreed, holding me more securely, trembling in the final instants. I came a second or two before he did, groaning in gratification with it, feeling his wetness streaked on my hand. He let out his breath in a heaving exhalation. I fought to catch my own air as I pulled out of him, feeling him wince with the action.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yes…"

"Did it hurt?"

"Extremely." He reached up and grabbed my face. "But don't worry. It felt good too." I realized a few droplets from him had gotten on my chin and he pulled my face closer with his hand, extending his tongue to lick them away. When I kissed him I tasted blood in my mouth along with salt and his pooled saliva. He must've bitten his tongue.

"You'll probably sleep the whole night through this time."

"Most likely…" I pulled my boxer-briefs back over myself and sat beside him, swabbing the sweat from my brow and neck. He shuffled around, replacing his baggy boxer-shorts, and sat next to me, not without cringing, I noticed. For a while we caught our breath without words. "Hey, Light-kun?"

"Yes, Ryuzaki?"

"Did you really mean it when you said you liked me? You weren't just saying it because you're a polite, well-mannered person, did you? Or because you wanted to have sex?"

"Of course not. When I say I like someone, I mean it. I don't lie about things like that."

"But you do lie?"

"Everybody lies. There isn't anyone who doesn't."

"I don't understand…" he whispered, even quieter than his usual monotone.

"What don't you understand?"

"Why you would like me. I'm a reclusive person who doesn't show his feelings. I'm anti-social and awkward around other people. I never bend myself to fit in or make anyone else comfortable with me. I act as I do because I know no other way to act. Like you said yourself, I have no social experience because I'm a recluse. I'm selfish…also…"

I blinked in the dark and sat closer next to him. I put my hand on his head, smoothing it over his bushy hair. "That's exactly what I like about you, L."

He turned his face to me. "It is?"

"Yes. I like that you don't force yourself to behave how others expect. I like that you act and work in the ways that are natural to you, without trying to conform, without trying to spare anyone's petty feelings. If you didn't, you'd probably be only half as efficient as you are now, and there would be dozens of heinous criminals still out there. You've hunted down so many vicious killers and put them away…quicker than the entire police force of a country could track them down. I doubt you could do that if you didn't behave the way you do. Sometimes I wish I could act that way… If I weren't so concerned with saving face or keeping my reputation… If I weren't so occupied with making my family and teachers happy… Well, then, I could probably think at your level, L."

"But you already do that, Light-kun. You're intellect coincides almost perfectly with mine."

"But you're still willing to go farther than I am, without brooding over the trivial matters standing in your way. I stop to deal with them, but you strive forward and forward, never ceasing, never loosening your concentration. I mean, you don't even let something like sleep slow you down. I admire you, L, I always have. And now that I know Ryuzaki too, I can honestly say that you're a person I like."

"Is that true…?" He leaned his chin on his hands as they clutched both his kneecaps. "Thank you, Light-kun… No one's ever said those things to me before." He shut his eyes. "That's that, then. Only Watari means more to me than Light-kun."

I rubbed his head a little. "I'm glad, Ryuzaki. I hope we can still be best friends after KIRA is brought to justice… I'm not sure how that would work since you'll be disappearing again though."

"Yes…" He sighed lightly. "I hope I'm wrong, I really do, Light-kun. I hope that everything I've deduced and that every certain feeling that's ever gripped me until now is wrong."

"What are you saying, Ryuzaki?"

"I hope Light-kun is not KIRA… I really do."

I sighed myself a little and then laughed faintly. "You don't have to worry about that… I can tell you for sure, and this is the most honest I've ever been…that I'm not KIRA."

"Right."

"Now, I think we need to go to sleep." I laid down on my side of the bed, pulling the sheet further over myself. L scuttled under it too, turning on his left side so he wouldn't have to lie on the chain. He rested his hands and chin on my chest like some kind of puppy, and I paused before I draped the sheet over the top of his head. He poked his face out from under it, peeking up at me from beneath the linen with his big dark eyes.

"Good night, Light-kun," he said.

"Good night, Ryuzaki."

The End

44


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